Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Happy Birthday

Dear Titus,
Tomorrow is your 6th birthday.  I sure do miss you and those few days I got to hold you seem like so long ago now.  Silas played with a little boy who shares your birthday yesterday and I got a glimpse of what life would be like now if you had come home to us instead of home to Heaven.  I never wish that for you though - my knowledge of Jesus and His Kingdom tells me how infinitely better your life is in eternity.  I long for Heaven and I am glad you are there and I live with the anticipation of knowing you for eternity!   I expect that Jesus himself shares with you - however that happens in Heaven -  how your life on earth continues to shape our lives and make a difference in the lives of other children.  My arms ache to hold you on your birthday, to sing to you as you blow out 6 candles, and watch you giggle with your siblings as you tear paper off of presents.  If you were here I would go out looking for a gift that would be just right for a son turning 6 years old, maybe something to throw or ride.  On this birthday - the gift I have for you comes from a deep place inside.  A healing place, a place of hope, a place where Jesus lives, where the counselor - Holy Spirit - gives me comfort, a place that God created - my heart.  I want to give you a gift that will keep on giving, a gift that I will give back - as you first gave it to me.  A mission. A love.  A life - poured out.  Do remember that night?  I think the second night Daddy and I spent with you in Haiti?  That night - my heart opened and Jesus came in and He did something.  I said yes and He changed me.  I remember it as the night He filled me with the deepest love for you - a mother for her son.  A love miracle really...and I promised God that night in that run down motel room in the middle of Port au Prince that He had my life.  That I would spend myself on your behalf...and that is what I am giving you this birthday.  As we approach our opportunity to live out this mission to learn, live, and love in Haiti.  The life we live now held with open hands - our fingers held out - not easy - only with Jesus will we be able to keep them open and reaching out for more...more love to give away - because that is where the abundance lies - in the YES.  In the outstretched arm that waves like a child eager to answer the question asked by his smiling teacher....here we are Lord, call on US - we know You have the answers! And I say thank you God.  Thank you for giving me Titus, so few days to hold him here - so profound the impact on my life. You are good, God.

We remember you and celebrate your life, Titus - our son.
With all my Love,
Mommy


A post about Titus' life - http://tuglor.blogspot.com/2007_09_01_archive.html



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